Apologies if some of you are getting emailed twice on this; It’s a small kerfuffle in the visibility settings!
Straight to the music! 👇🏽
I watched Bojack Horseman on Netflix in April 2020. For those of you who haven’t watched this masterpiece, I’d suggest watching it only if you are in a good place in life. While it gets depressing, it also allows glimpses into acts of love and kindness. And often, that kindness should be towards oneself. This track is played on the Season 2 finale as Bojack lies wheezing on the ground, pushed to his limit from running uphill.
A seasoned runner passes by Bojack. The noon sun seemingly glints off his shoulder.
Runner: It gets easier.
Bojack: Yeah?
Runner: Every day it gets a little easier. But you have to do it every day. That’s the hard part. But it does get easier.
Bojack (to himself): Okay.
This brings me to the point of loneliness and existential gloom that Barnett’s lyrics allude to, within the context of the pandemic:
I sleep in late
Another day
Oh, what a wonder
Oh, what a waste
We live in large cities, surrounded by people and yet we hardly know anyone. We dwell in apartments and don’t know who our neighbors are. The pandemic has made socializing more difficult and urban loneliness is a troubling reality. Two years and three vaccine shots later, the mask laws are starting to loosen. But really, where do we as a society go from here? How do we socialize again? How do we readjust to seeing human faces without a swathe of blue below their nose? To shake hands and to feel the reassuring connection with another person?
While external realities are beyond your control, surely you’ve got your day-to-day sorted, right? But surely, even with calendars and synchronization, you start losing track of your day as you busy yourself with little activities: a quick walk, a Zoom class, a phone call home. The hours melt away and suddenly it’s Wednesday. At work, it’s a series of Team or Slack calls, with empty silhouettes and impatient voices and imposing timelines. It’s Thursday now, and because you’re back-to-back in calls, you’re hurriedly inhaling stale, reheated pizza— that’s probably best chewed slowly.
On Friday, you thank the divine entity upstairs for freeing from whatever this (exasperated hand sweeping gesture) is for the next 48 hours. You sleep in late on Saturday because you damn well deserved it, but then become agitated that you now have a mere 36 hours at your disposal to do all the joyous things that you wanted to do. On Sunday afternoon, the dread eventually creeps in, like Gordon Ramsay realizing he’s been served a rancid scallop. Oh, what a waste, exclaims Barnett, as Ramsay hurls his innards into a receptacle, a passerby swearing they heard him scream “Pollux”.
I wanna grow tomatoes on the front steps
Sunflowers, bean sprouts, sweet corn, and radishesI feel pro-active
I pull out weeds
All of a sudden
I'm having trouble breathing in
The pandemic has made it abundantly clear that we are all living on borrowed time. The question of our impending mortality has never been opposed— it’s just that we realize that we’re going to end up in that bag of Home Depot’s fertilizer sooner rather than later. And that is causing us to re-evaluate what is important and what isn’t; to throw caution to the winds and try something new. It could be gardening, marketing, knitting, or singing. It could be starting a music recommendation newsletter and putting your heart and soul into growing it.
But amid the euphoria of early success lies the usual culprits of doubt and fear. There’s no telling what the future holds. In private moments, in the middle of the night, the panic comes uninvited and swells like a great wave crashing upon the shore. Your chest tightens and you feel a slight constriction.
I’m having trouble breathing in, sings Barnett. I’d agree, but it’s a day at a time like the runner in Bojack said. There’s hope in these waters; it should get easier.
See you all tomorrow,
Nikhil.
"...[W]e realize that we’re going to end up in that bag of Home Depot’s fertilizer sooner rather than later…." Thank you, sunshine! ☀️ 😂 (Great song and video. Thanks for the share!)
Loved listening to this Nikhil. The reality hits hard. But am sure we will all sail through this uncertainty around socialization. I for sure have nearly gotten back to normal. You talk of handshakes, we have probably returned to the love-filled hugs.