This a fun, silly essay on the hitherto unheard-of practice of listening to music while cleansing your face. It’s sure to amuse and educate.
My genetics kicked me off life support
I have my genetics to thank when my friends and first-time acquaintances alike say that I look 27 when, in reality, I’m hitting my mid-30s soon. I’m starting to see the signs of aging that I remember from old ads for Garnier: fine lines, wrinkles, dull skin, hyperpigmentation, acne scars, redness, and dark spots.
So, I had a tête-à-tête with Mr. Genetics on a Friday morning. He wasn’t happy.
Genetics (G): Whatchu want, man? I’m busy here cranking out the keratin.
Me: Just wanted to say that you’re dropping the ball in the skin department.
G: EXCUSE ME? Are you taking care of yourself?
Me: Excuse you, bro. This year’s been tough. I’m going through a mid-life crisis, a career pivot, and homesickness. I’m networking my butt off, eating healthy, and drinking 2 beers a month. Like sheesh, finding a job is a full-time job…uh, hello?
G: (talking to someone in the background— “Gimme a sec, my boy’s having a moment”). Listen, man. You gotta do better. Get yo’self a proper skincare routine. I’ve been seeing the reports from the T-Zone. It’s embarrassing. You’re embrassing.
(hangs up)
Me: Well, f*ck…
So, to get to the bottom of this mystery, I call Jessica, one of my Discord buddies in the US.
Jessica uncovers my skeletons in the dermatological closet 💀
She wastes no time in asking what my skincare routine (SCR) is. To be fair, I had never given it much thought. In India, I used a bar of Unilever’s Hamam soap on both my face and body and called it a day.
In Canada, I replaced Hamam with Irish Spring.
<loud record scratch>
“You did WHAT?” exclaims Jessica, the activity circle on Discord glowing a bright radioactive green. I repeated myself, mistaking her anger for technical difficulties, and I received the same three words, louder still.
“Nikhil”, she says, “Get a notepad and a pen. We got some things to discuss”.
Over the course of 15 minutes, she gives me the full low-down: cleanse, treat, moisturize, and apply sunscreen. She gives me names of brands, and products, and the chat is pinging with links to SCR Tik-Toks from board-certified dermatologists and influencers alike. But after watching a couple of Tik-Toks, I counted the number of times someone said “After that, I go in with the <product name>”. It was an absurd number. On a YouTube video titled “Satisfying Skin Care Routine: TikTok compilation”, I saw a poster pull an entire drawer full of products. They had literal, rotating Rolodexes of creams, serums, gels, emulsions, and a cavalcade of things I had no idea about. I wasn’t going to spend hundreds of dollars pumping myself full of chemicals. So, I figured out an ultra-basic, simple SCR, with some music to accompany it. This is What’s Curation? after all.
Nikhil’s SCR, with music
AM Routine
I wake up at 7.30 AM and drag myself downstairs to the washroom. I begin the day with David Bowie’s Let’s Dance.
I brush my teeth and floss. Then, I work a little gentle cleanser from Cetaphil between my palms and wash my face. I do a little dance around an imaginary microphone stand, or shadow box, paying homage to that stellar album cover.
Let's sway
While color lights up your face
Let's sway
Sway through the crowd to an empty space
I follow Bowie up with King, a recent hard-hitting track from Florence+ The Machine. A dab of Vaseline Intensive Care moisturizer on the ‘ol visage and I’m all done.
I need my golden crown of sorrow, my bloody sword to swing
My empty halls to echo with grand self-mythology
I am no mother, I am no bride
I am king
PM Routine
Jessica told me to start using sunscreen and after using one that gave me hives, I’m in the process of finding a mineral-based one because that’s apparently safer for sensitive skin. In the evening, I follow the same AM routine, but with two different tracks to wind down. The first is a lo-fi hiphop classic by DJ Quads.
And the second is a South Korean R&B gem:
In conclusion
I’ve ditched the bar soap for my face and adopted a simple 2-step cleanse and moisturize regimen for AM and PM, with some banger tracks to start and end the day on a great note.
I’m sure Jessica will approve. How about you?
This is not the post I expected to need to read this morning. Well done!
Nikhil...Two words: Bath & Body Works (not to be confused with a similarly-named outfit)! Now it can be told! I'm hooked, and have been for a year. They have a Rewards program & daily sales for a different line of their product: shower gels, body creams & lotions, fine fragrance sprays, aromatherapy shower gel line, hand soaps, pump soaps, pocket anti-bac hand gels, room sprays, and more! And, you can try and test to your heart's content in their stores!
But, everything comes in a galaxy of scents and fragrances, FAR more than just flowery, lady smells! Things like Vanilla Bean Noel, Sugared Snickerdoodle, Strawberry Pound Cake, Frosted Vanilla, and new faves, Pumpkin Cupcake and Pumpkin Pecan Waffles! As I tell the gals at their stores, "I have no desire to smell like flowers, but I don't mind smelling like cookies!"
Thanks for bringing me out of my SCR shell, Nikhil! That cat is now out of the bag (but, it smells incredible)!🥧🎂🍪🍰🧁🤗